From the Orlando Sentinel:

Sneer care

A doctor who considers the national health-care overhaul to be bad medicine for the country posted a sign on his office door telling patients who voted for President Barack Obama to seek care “elsewhere.”

The sign reads: “If you voted for Obama … seek urologic care elsewhere. Changes to your healthcare begin right now, not in four years.”

“I’m not turning anybody away — that would be unethical,” Dr. Jack Cassell, 56, a Mount Dora urologist and a registered Republican opposed to the health plan, told the Orlando Sentinel on Thursday. “But if they read the sign and turn the other way, so be it.”

Give me a fucking break. Someone from the media called him on it and now he’s trying to split hairs. What Obama supporter in his right mind would read that sign and then walk through the door to let this arrogant, angry wingnut shove something up their dick?

Having said that, and knowing it’s not his specialty, I’d be perfectly comfortable letting Dr. Teabag treat me as a proctologist. After all, it takes an asshole to know one.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgec9WX21ik

And really, who could argue with this kind of reasoning?

“I am originally from Nicaragua, I run away from Communism. I realized that Communism does not work, Socialism does not work, and the death of America will be socialized medicine. That is so clear, because I came to this country looking for freedom, for the freedom to choose my own doctor, not for the government to tell me when to live and when to die!”

I’m normally not in the business of helping the teabaggers, but listen up, teabaggers, that quote above would make an excellent bumper sticker or rally button. You might have to bump down the font a bit, though.

From boston.com:

William Gunn is angry about big government, the bailouts, and especially the big health care package President Obama signed earlier this week — so much so, that the Western Massachusetts resident came all the way to Washington, DC and got himself arrested Sunday night after heckling lawmakers in the House gallery.

Gunn, by the way, works for the town of Palmer and administers federal grants for a living.

“It’s sort of ironic,” said the 48-year-old Gunn, who is scheduled to come back for a court appearance in the nation’s capital next month.

Gunn administers Community Development Block Grants (CDBGs), a federal program meant to spur local economic development.

“Absolutely, it is” a “big government” program, Gunn acknowledged. But “if I lost my job because they didn’t have it any longer, I’d be fine with that,” he said.

Full. Of. Shit.

The great political thinker also was worked up by “arrogant” House Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi for walking through the gauntlet of sputtering (and, in one case, spitting) teabaggers “almost as if she was trying to incite people to do something,” boston.com reports. Because, you know, until that unprecedented provocation, it had been a peaceful, respectful gathering. (See video below.)

And, of course, if she and the other lawmakers had taken the underground tunnels from their offices to the Capitol, then they would been “cowards.”

www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJ3bNhSYG6Q

I would, however, occasionally drop by that pioneering wingnut web forum, FreeRepublic. If you’re unfamiliar with FreeRepublic, you’re probably better off. It’s the kind of place where opposable thumbs confer bragging rights, a place where members with double-digit IQs are called “gifted” or “professor.”

The “Freepers,” as they call themselves, were in their glory during the height of the Iraq War, celebrating every bombing of an Iraqi school, wedding or hospital as a tremendous victory for America and freedom, gloating over the capture of Saddam in his pathetic spiderhole, masturbating over photos of the Chickenhawk-in-Chief strutting around the aircraft carrier deck with a codpiece shoved inside the crotch of his flight suit, demanding the execution of war dissenters for “treason.”

My, how the mighty dumb have fallen. As you can imagine, there’s little celebrating going on in Freeperville these days. Since November, triumphalism and smug ignorance have been supplanted by teabagging and angry incoherence. (Though there’s still plenty of masturbation, judging by recent headlines on the site such as “Sarah Palin Centerfold!” and “I Will Always Love Sarah Palin.”)

Perhaps the quintessential Freeper comment came late last month in a thread linked to a story on the Gross Domestic Product falling 6.1% in Q1. A Freeper who calls himself “TheThinker” posted this gem:

Funny, I never saw the GDP plummet under Bush.

TheThinker, you dumb shit, the GDP was down 6.3% in Q4; you know, the quarter right before this past one, when Bush still was in office. The GDP actually improved the first quarter of Obama’s presidency. Sadly, TheThinker is Albert Fucking Einstein compared to other Freepers.

But I digress. The point of this blog post is laughter and entertainment. In that spirit, I give you highlights of the Freeper thread linking to a story about the 2009 White House Correspondents’ Dinner. In the thread the Freepers are simply beside themselves with rage and frustration over the fact that President Obama not only is black, but is having great fun for the night. The display of infantile fury is impressive even by Freeper standards. It is a joy to behold.

I’ve culled some of the gems and organized them into categories to give you a flavor of the proceedings.  So prepare yourselves for a bracing dip into what I like to call “the Shallow End of the Gene Pool.”

FASHION AND APPEARANCE CRITIQUES

I don’t know who she is, but a lot of these women are very superficially pretty, but their very nasty commie lib attitudes have a detrimental effect on their looks. Specifically, they always look terribly constipated. — Armedanddangerous

I made up nothing here.

Her butt-ugly personal dresser needs to introduce her to a good undergarment fitter and get those boobs and a few other things in the right place if she is going to insist on wearing clothing at least a size too small. — Arizona Carolyn

Don’t worry, though. The Freepers aren’t all about looks and other superficialities. Check out the serious chops they display in:

OBAMA’S SPEECH

Everything about him sucks. He has no timing, no good will … — STARWISE

His delivery is so bad — pbear8

I’d say he should keep his day job, but that thought continues to sicken me. – anniegetyourgun

Listen to these damn media hyenas yukking it up. I don’t think I have enough liquor in the house tonight for this. — Dinah Lord

He has NO sense of humor at all. His sense of humor consists of mean, snide remarks that he thinks are funny. He is NOT a nice person. He’s mean and hateful. — mojitojoe

His arrogance knows no bounds. Pathetic jokes and those off colored remarks are certainly not appropriate for the teens in the audience. — StarFan

It’s painful to watch. I’m serious about not having enough liquor in the house. I really must go check. — Dinah Lord

I, for one, have no doubt that Dinah is serious, just as I have no doubt she does not have enough liquor in the house. Nor ever will.

WANDA SYKES

Could she be more boring? — CaptRon

What a NO TALENT !! — W-Girl

Disgusting obscene joke about Sarah Palin…..what a disgrace she is! – JulieRNR21

That was a dishonorable insult to her and her family and the B**** speaking deserves a fist across the jaw from Sarah. — digital-olive

She is an Ugly Witch! Her comment about Rush just then was disgusting! The RATS are disgusting! – True Republican Patriot

BEST part is she was kind of low brow for Prez Arugula and Lady Armpit. — PghBaldy

I’M NO RACIST, BUT…

By the way, with all this yukkin’ it up…Santa Barbara’s got a bit of a situation…who the bugger from this administration is handling it? Or are there not enough of my darker skinned brothers in peril for them to pay it mind? — Christian4Bush

wanda the lesbo…well way to be original and knock on dick cheney and rush limbaugh and then say the next white president will move the sojourner truth statue to the kitchen…that’s what happens when your career has jumped the shark and no one knows who your are…nor cares…this dinner was 5 stars…assuming each star represents massive amounts of fail…or racism towards white people… — wheresmycheckbarry?

It seems that the O’s know they are so low they can only elevate themselves by trashing their betters. — Carley

I wish Todd had gone up to the podium and given her a real dressing down. In another age she would have gotten a good caning. — tet68

Both of them are as talented and funny as a sheet of fabric softener. Both of them only have any semblance of careers because of their races – let’s be honest! — GOPsterinMA

…it ticks me off so much that this Wanda Sykes idiot was given a podium to say such vile things…all she shows is how uneducated she is…I bet she has some family members who got pregnant out of wedlock. — Sarah Barracuda

Really, what can you say about that last sentence?

JUST HATIN’

What an arrogant POS and his wife. — SoCalPol

Pres. Ears has that arrogant upturned nose facing the sky again! — kcvl

He is the ultimate in creepy. – Bahbah

I really wonder why any of you bothered watching these lowlife s-—birds all evening. Did you expect anything less than a bunch of scumbags spewing hatred directed at anyone who won’t worship at their feet? The fascist left can never be gracious either in victory or defeat. — Yankee

Yankee said graciously in defeat.

He is revolting. He is mentally ill. He is mean. He is an elitist egomaniac. He is not a nice person in any way shape or form. He is a bitter man. — mojitojoe

Note: This was just one small part of a huge rant that mojitojoe did. He loaded up for that one. I recommend the full version. It’s Comment #397. It’s almost a litany and reminds me a lot of Bob Dylan’s “A Hard Rain’s Gonna Fall,” except there’s no music and the words are the deranged rantings of a right-wing maniac rather than the stark lyrical poetry of an immensely talented young singer-songwriter.

BEYOND THE FRINGE (OR ‘SAY WHAT?’)

Anyone seen Glenn Beck yet ? His Monday show should be hilarious. (But he absolutely cracks me up every day.) — STARWISE

I’d be at the People table and I would have earlier changed seating cards so that I was next to Brooke Shields. I think she and I would get along well. — jla

He broke a lot a stuff. Real funny. You knew the Palin deal was coming. You didn’t know how low it was going to be did you? Why don’t Democrats pay their fair share of taxes then? — Dinah Lord

By this time it appears Dinah had pretty much located and consumed any alcohol in her house.

Between Wanda’s disgusting comments and those of Obama, used properly the American Public will landslide the Republicans back in 2010 and 2012! Yah Hoo! — True Republican Patriot

just caught some b-roll cut away footage of it where I work….when she was slightly jabbing Obie he took a sip of his water and quietly said into his glass “Leave me aloneeee” UNBELIEVABLE..UNFREAKINBELIEVABLE…did anyone else catch this from the main feeds on the major networks…???? WOW — wheresmycheckbarry?

I fear for our Country. Keep pushing us mister O, the tea parties were just a start. – Bush Revolution

Ooooooh! And they’ll show us again on the Fourth of July!

Deer in head lights oh dang the National Anthem…

What is this deal hauling in the flag like it was at a game??

And than putting the flag away!

What were those other flags? — restornu

I think that one above was an attempt at haiku.

George Bush had more class in his small finger than Zero has in his whole body plus this White House correspondence dinner. — snugs

O thinks that by not attending Church the Lord won’t notice his evil ways. We’ll see, won’t we. — Carley

Just a small sample of the sober rationality that prevails 24/7 over at FreeRepublic. I will visit occasionally and keep you up-to-date on the cutting-edge thinking of the Patriotic Right. This is Bonedaddy King reporting from the Shallow End of the Gene Pool.

The thing is, being a socialist and freedom-hater and all, I’m not in it for the money. I just want to be part of something bigger than myself. So I thought up some T-shirt slogans for any enterprising merchandiser to run with. I’m giving these away! Consider them my gift to the teabaggers and those who want to financially exploit them. Especially the latter.

We Are Revolting

Want Proof Evolution Doesn’t Exist? Talk To Me!

Burn All Books. They’re Not Doing Us Any Good

Top Teabagger On Twitter

I’m Not Interested In Your Facts. Or Any Facts.

Glenn Beck Cries Like A Man!

I Get All The Learnin’ I Need From Fox Nooz

Gay Marriage Is So Gay

Obama Is An Illegal Alien, And So Is His Dog

God, Guns And Torture Made America Free

————————

Related Post: A Friendly Warning to Teabag Nation

Normally I avoid direct contact with you because you intimidate me with the power of your firearms ideas, but this is too important for me to remain silent.

I know you’re planning a nationwide celebration of teabagging on April 15. I also know there are rumors swirling inside Michelle Malkin’s cobweb-ridden brain your elite circles that freedom-hating socialists, Twitter trolls and illegal immigrants are plotting to infiltrate these Fox News-sponsored events. Well, the immigrants only will be looking for work as underpaid and exploited laborers, but those others undoubtedly will be up to no good.

If, of course, that’s what goes down. The thing is, most of your fears about the teabagging-fests being disrupted can be chalked up to the normal fevered paranoia that grips your tiny imaginations 24/7. Look, a black helicopter! Just kidding. Calm down. Honestly, the liberals and their wretched fellow travelers are just playing with your heads. As the Brits like to say, they’re trying to get you all wound up. And it appears to be working, based on the panicky tweets I see flying around your Twitter headquarters at #tcot and #teabag.

As a firm believer in nine of our 10 original Constitutional amendments, I support the rights of every American to free speech and free assembly, no matter how pointless the cause or how laughable the participants. Which brings me to why I’m writing you.

While it’s true that you can safely ignore most of the bluster you’ve read on Twitter, I have come to learn that one determined and devious man — through the effective use of mass transit and a patent-pending rapid cloning procedure — plans to simultaneously crash several of your teabag parties. While his entire agenda is unclear, I hear he intends to 1) perform dramatic readings of the U.S. Tax Code 2) openly malign the presidential legacy and film career of Ronald Reagan and 3) force several heterosexual attendees into shotgun gay marriages.

Don’t ask me how I know. I’m sworn to secrecy and never will reveal my source, even under the threat of a double-teabagging. But I’ve managed to obtain a picture of this man and have posted it below. He will be wearing the disguise you see in the photo in order to blend in with the patriotic teabagging crowd. (I told you I was he was devious.)

I can tell you no more. Remember, you’ve been warned.

Sign me,

Earl Grey