However, things were crazy for Bonedaddy over the summer, so my absence was unavoidable. I see not much has been going on here, though I have before me a fairly recent comment from a whiny Texas wingnut about this post from April. (Glad to see it could be found so easily on Google.) He goes on and on about how great Texas is, how “you liberals” are afraid to debate conservatives, how much I suck, etc. It’s quite compelling, and in the spirit of not only fostering dialogue, but confronting my own fears about the inadequacies of my progressive political ideas, I’ve decided to overrule my long-standing policy about posting comments from haters and give him a prominent voice on my blog.

Oh, wait: Through a comedy of errors involving my brain commanding my finger to hit the Delete button, it appears the Texas knuckle-dragger’s comment is lost forever. Fuck you, Tex. This is the Bonedaddy Kingdom, and I’m back.

The thing is, being a socialist and freedom-hater and all, I’m not in it for the money. I just want to be part of something bigger than myself. So I thought up some T-shirt slogans for any enterprising merchandiser to run with. I’m giving these away! Consider them my gift to the teabaggers and those who want to financially exploit them. Especially the latter.

We Are Revolting

Want Proof Evolution Doesn’t Exist? Talk To Me!

Burn All Books. They’re Not Doing Us Any Good

Top Teabagger On Twitter

I’m Not Interested In Your Facts. Or Any Facts.

Glenn Beck Cries Like A Man!

I Get All The Learnin’ I Need From Fox Nooz

Gay Marriage Is So Gay

Obama Is An Illegal Alien, And So Is His Dog

God, Guns And Torture Made America Free

————————

Related Post: A Friendly Warning to Teabag Nation

There will be none of that here. Thousands of years from now, when aliens inspect the charred remains of our planet, I fully expect them to discover this blog and say, “What was he thinking with that hideous color scheme? And why the constant references to ‘porn’?”

Just kidding. I’m confident the aliens will give mad props for my color scheme, whatever it ends up being. Right now, though, I’m just using a generic WordPress template, for design is not my bag, baby. Over time I’ll work out something functional and decent looking, but this launch already has been delayed enough by my agonizing over banner shades and font types.

To my Twitter friends who are checking out this blog, nice to see you outside our little 140-character cage. I hope you visit frequently (and don’t worry, I’ll be adding Twitter features, maybe even this weekend; I’m on a roll!). To those who have stumbled upon this blog, can you be little more careful? That hurt!

I Have a Past

This is not my first blog. Three years ago I had one called Bloginàge, a playful, um, play on the words “blog” and “badinage.” Like many blogs, it ground to a halt after a year or so as life and work rudely intruded on the author’s precious blogging time.

The tragic thing is I walked away from several Google AdSense dollars. If I had cashed in and deposited that money in a savings account with 5% interest, the total today would exceed my current 401K. (Why am I joking about this?) It’s that kind of financial acumen that qualifies me to be CEO of a major bank.

Finding traces of Bloginàge is almost impossible now, even on the Intertubes, but if anyone’s interested in my political thoughts from 2006, here’s a link from DailyKos that includes several posts. At the time I used the pseudonym “He Blogs at Night.” For some reason DailyKos has deleted my posts predicting the financial meltdown and the election of America’s first African-American president. Those jealous, petty bastards.

I wanted to revive Bloginàge for this new blog and call it “Bloginàge: A Bonedaddy King Production.” Sadly, the URL is now owned by an unscrupulous domain squatter in Panama, the Central American republic that has given the world John McCain, Manuel Noriega and some stylish men’s hats. I’m not paying $1,000 or whatever to get back the rights to my own blog brainchild.

My (Potentially Empty) Promise to You

Therefore it’s time to move on. This blog will strictly be a Bonedaddy thing. Hence the title of this post and the name of the blog. I’m clever that way.

I’m also an inveterate tagline changer. However, before I replace the debut tag (“And if my thought dreams could be blogged…”), I’ll be interested to see if anyone gets the reference. Leave a comment here or tweet me if you like at @bonedaddyking with the correct answer and you could win a Prius. Not from me; I’m just saying you could win a Prius, someday. I did predict three years ago our first African-American president, so don’t take my vague premonitions lightly.

As far as content, it’ll evolve over time. Still, expect to see plenty of political commentary from a strong left perspective, a lot of humor, cultural observations, cheap porn references for search engine optimization, Twitter talk, family and fatherhood stuff, in-law bashing (if I think my wife’s not reading), dogs, NFL football, pathetic pleas for technical help, and cheap porn references for search engine optimization. In other words, a tightly focused blog.

You haven’t seen the last of me. Unless, of course, you don’t come back. But I hope you do; I really could use those Google AdSense dollars.

– Bonedaddy King